Tuesday, August 11, 2009

La Bilateral Boot

I’m frightened, mes amis. Of a fashion trend, no less. Oh, I want nothing more than to snuggle with the season’s adoration of over-the-knee boots. To take in arms the legging-like fit. To bear hug the lovesome lycra, the soft suede, the luscious leather. But the mere contemplation of doing so sends me into a complete and utter tailspin. I am not of the over-the-knee wearing kind. I am sweet but incredibly short. Sassy but quite shy. Sociable yet outright serene. Over-the-knee boots were not created for someone of my stature, of my personality, in mind. They were constructed out of thoughts of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, leggy Rodarte models on the runway, statuesque editorial assistants at fashion magazines. Even so, I find myself with nothing but over-the-knee boots on both the tip of my tongue and within the confines of my mind.

I know I can’t. It would be a gaffe, a snafu, a sheer faux pas on my part to buy a pair. To shell out hard-earned cash on a piece of footwear that is here today, gone tomorrow. A brogan that I may or may not deem daring enough to wear come tomorrow. So I won’t. Don’t worry, lovelies, I won’t do it. Instead, I’ll invest in the Convertible Over The Knee Boot.

Save your gasps of shock and horror for another time. I’m not reneging on my promise, I’m simply compromising. To put it candidly, Free People’s Convertible Over The Knee Boot is predestined to be the fall fashion favorite of the petite, pint-sized fashionista burdened with complete confusion, and the never-ending question of whether or not she can wholeheartedly propel herself into the trend without feeling self-conscious and insecure. Why? Darlings, do you even have to ask? It’s quite obvious; the Convertible Over The Knee Boot is…bilateral.

You may feel bold, dauntless, sanguine, fearless, even valiant about wearing over-the-knee boots today, but tomorrow those emotions may drain from your form completely. And when they do, the Convertible Over The Knee Boot will remain a fundamental fragment of your shoe collection, as the brushed lycra can simply be cuffed or scrunched down to create a surrogate style more fitting with your mood du jour.

This is not a quip. I am not jesting you here. This is a direct order. Buy them now – they are sure to save your sanity later.

Fashionably yours!

Thanks to Free People for the pictures.

Don't forget to enter the Boys! Boys! Boys! Giveaway for your chance to win three (3) pairs of colorful boyshorts from Bjorn Borg.

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